Look Me in the Eye

Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers

John Elder Robinson

Author: John Elder Robinson

       To many, it would seem that John Elder Robinson had led an electrifying life but to him, it was a twisted, painful game. As mentioned in Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robinson, as a child he never really had a home. He consistently moved because his parents didn't have job security. Each time his family would move he would try to develop new friends, but consistently got rejected by numerous children. This was because he had Asperger syndrome and hadn't developed the feeling of empathy that naturally guides most people in their interactions with others. He couldn't understand why a dog would be happy with a pat on the head while a child would not. When he was trying his very best to be kind, others would see it as bad behavior, but even with this major set-back, John Elder was able to lead a successful life.

The book Look Me in the Eye

       As a child, John had shown many signs of Asperger syndrome, but living in the 1970's and 80's, Aspergers wasn't a well-known developmental disorder. For example, at age 13 he was given an electronics set and electronics book. Within a year of obtaining the electronics kit and books, he was approaching college level electronics and engineering. At age 11, he found abandoned Porsche (cars) and quickly memorized almost every model. He also realized that he wouldn't necessarily want to be rich and buy a car, but he wanted to be a craftsman. He didn't care about the salary, he just wanted to see his work grow in front of his eyes.

      This desire of electronics and a hands-on job continued into John Elder's young-adulthood. After completing high school at age 16 with 96 on the GED, John Elder continued tampering with electronics in the music industry. He started a career of repairing guitar amps for local musicians and while the famous band, KISS, was in town, he repaired one of their amps and was taken on by their management as a permanent member of their AV crew. Again in this job, he realized he didn't care about the fame and the fortune, but the reaction of the audience when a member of KISS would activate a crazy embellishment on their guitar made his day. As John Elder moved on to a different area of expertise in the working world, he again faced issues of salary vs. happiness with a job. While working in a toy manufacturing company, Milton Bradley, he decided to climb the corporate ladder, but soon realized the higher he climbed, the more people-skills he needed rather than technical-skills. The trait for people-skills weren't compatible with John Elder's Aspergers and he understood that it was best for him to work with a lower title, in order for job security and ultimately happiness. In the end, John Elder found being a professor of philosophy at Amherst College as the best-suited job for him.

       Even before his diagnoses, John Elder was able to construct a somewhat-normal family. His first wife, Mary Trompke, or Little Bear, as John called her, was his high school love. She and John had a son, Jack Robinson, or Bear Cub. John shared a strong bond with Cubby and would bring him on adventure days, tell him stories, and as a child, Cubby loved the game called "baby toss." Cubby also had Asperger syndrome, but to a lesser extent than John Elder. Little Bear and John Elder later got divorced, and John remarried to Martha or Unit 2. Unit 2 also had Aspergers, but that didn't stop her or John from leading a fulfilling life.

        John Elder was diagnosed by his psychiatrist friend, TR Rosenberg. TR had noticed John Elder's tendency's of "marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors, difficulty in developing relationships, lack of sharing achievements or interests, lack of social and/or emotional reciprocity" (  ). John Elder was thrilled to learn that the things people said to him as a child, that he was arrogant, aloof, or unfriendly, were wrong. His label of Aspergers delighted him, since it meant he would be under the category of people who become ultimate experts in any field that compels them and that he wasn't defective, but that he was better than normal; he was an essential part of much creative genius.

John Robinson's other book on his
experience with Aspergers 

        I think John Elder uses his wit and dry humor to take the reader on the journey of his life with an undiagnosed disorder while expanding the reader's mind and giving them the perspective from a different world. I think John's story is thick with the relatable awkwardness of everyday life, love and passion. From his beginning as a 13-year-old boy with a passion for electronics to his career as a self-taught engineer, John Elder's story is perfectly illustrated. 

        I believe that John mainly wrote this book for those individuals trying to handle a personal, extremely complicated, and audacious  lifestyle. No matter what you are going through, John portrays that there will always be hope and even in a cave of darkness, there is light. You might have to go through rough times to find that light, but you will find it. I recommend this book to anyone interested in someone simply surviving a roller coaster of a life or how to cope with a developmental issue.